WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize