I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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