HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
