well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
