I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
