Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just googled if crying burns calories
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
