Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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