hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
