Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
