I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
