I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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