is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
