he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
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We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
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I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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