I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success