I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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