why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
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