they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
