i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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