I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Still dying that you shit outside
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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