there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
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We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
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I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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