im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
