That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
