We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
