More tranny stories later!
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
