After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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