I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
