Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize