I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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