my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
