Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
