Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
