i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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