if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
