But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
