maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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