D3 body, D1 cock
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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