do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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