Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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