girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
