I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
