I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I understand Curling. That high.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Randomize
