can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
