You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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