fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
