Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Drunk is not a location!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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