I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize