You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
