I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize