the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
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