Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
