i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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