Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
