I want to make a zoo with you.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize