i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize