Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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