something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize