I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
