she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
