I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
