Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
