i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
